Don't Feed A Timelord Sugar
by EmilyDoreen
Summary: Amy hoped this day would never come. But, she was wrong. Why is the Doctor not allowed sugar, what affects does it cast on him. Caution: This is highly random. Enjoy D


**CAUTION: THIS IS EXTREEMELY RANDOM AND MAY LEAD TO ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR AND SINGING THE CHA CHA SLIDE!**

**Don't feed a Timelord Sugar!**

Yay! This is great, sitting in my luxury room, reading a heat magazine from the 22nd century, who thought that shower caps would prove to be popular? One day free of fighting monsters, the Doctor said. Let's hope what happened the last time we didn't go travelling for the day doesn't happen again.

_A smash came from the kitchen, and I heard a squeal._

Oh crap, not again, not now, not today. Wait, we threw out the sugar, I REMEMBER I threw it into the supernova to stop the actions repeating again. But I can never trust that ET thing I travel with.

Oh God, why am I not surprised…? The Doctor is stood right in front of me, big ice cream scoop in one hand, a bag of sugar in the other.

"Hello Amy" he squeaked child like accent, vibrating like a foot massage.

I folded my arms and looked him in the eye, glaring into his soul. To be honest he looked high, is that what a good dose of sugar does to a Timelord? Perhaps.

"Doctor, now what have I told you about-"he threw the sugar in my face and ran off, the little beggar. I threw the sugar on the floor and ran after him. Hell no, he was not getting away, with throwing sugar in my face; no-one harms the pond, no-one!

Oh God, how can I begin to contemplate the Doctor when he starts mutating into utter madness?

I found him, or what I thought was him at the other end of a long corridor, I drew closer to him, wait? Was that?

"Scrappy Doo?"

Okay this may seem mad, but there was a real life, cartoon version of Scrappy Doo at the end of the corridor, carrying the Ice Cream scoop, wearing a bowtie. The mutating had started.

The Scrappy Doo Doctor, smiled, snorted then chuckled when I drew colder to him. He was vibrating still, like a phone you get on silent profile.

"Doctor, Doctor Whoooooooo!" the Scrappy Doo Doctor bellowed, he ran on the ceiling and darted past me laughing.

Oh what the- okay behind me now, were those to little creepy girls from the shining, who speak in sync. Both wearing bowties, carrying the ice cream scoop, and vibrating. Man, the Doctor was impossible!

"Come play with us Amy, forever, and ever, and ever, and ever" I made a grab for the creepy Doctor girls, and they exploded into popcorn (wearing bowties) on the floor, the popcorn then grew legs, and ran down the corridor at full speed singing 'Consider yourself' from Oliver. They darted up the corridor and headed for the control room.

In the process, of turning into popcorn, the scoop lay on the floor. I picked it up, and strode to the console room.

"**This means war"**

Okay, now, why is the TARDIS control room filled with candles, rising from water? What, the hell, is going on.

"The of the opera is there inside you're mind"

Oh bloody 'ell, the Doctor is still vibrating, still wearing the bowtie, but now he's the phantom, from the musical, wearing the mask. But in his case, he has drawn a curly moustache on it.

"Amy… dance with me" he said melodically as the phantom would, he then began to dance the Macarena, while singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' if anything, he was offending Andrew Lloyd Webber.

An orange glow formed around him, and an old woman emerged from the light, an old woman, wait that can't be right? Oh God, I was right, it was BLANCHE of Coronation Street who died a while back, wait so now I'm being attacked by a dead actress in a bowtie, in an inter-dimensional spaceship, great.

"Hello, I'm Blanche, and I'm a zombie" The Blanche Doctor groaned, and then did a bad impression of a walking zombie. I bet the real Blanche is turning in her grave, RIP.

"You know Amy, back in my day, people weighed half as much as you do, and you should go on weight watches"

Okay that was it, the final straw no Blanche Doctor was going to offend me! No-one offends the pond. NO-ONE! I tried to hit her, but she withdrew a cotton wool ball from her bag and through it at me.

I think it's fair to say that's its NOT normal to be knocked over by a cotton wool ball, is it?

Holy hell, a piano nearly just crushed me, it fell from the ceiling how is that possible, I dodged out of the way just in time.

Right Amy, face the facts, you need to be more careful when it comes to having sugar in the TARDIS. He was acting like an over grown three year old string bean!

Talking of string beans. As I arose, I heard Beethoven's 5th Symphony being played on the piano that nearly killed me. Seriously, if I had a nickel for every time the Doctor mutated into Beethoven and started playing the 5th symphony on the piano I'd have 1p, yes 1p!

I passed out.

Argh, my head what was the racket? How long had I been out for, a minute? Two? I don't know, but I don't know what's going on. All I do know is is that the Doctor is STILL hyped up on the sugar. I'd swear but I'm told that children do watch Doctor Who allot, so, oh well. Any way, back to the real world (even though what is the real world made no sense, the Doctor mutating? Jeez…)

Wait a sec, I know this song! This is the bird is the word, sung by Peter Griffin that cartoon character of Family Guy. But not Peter, the bloomin' self centred Doctor.

He was animated doing the irregular arm movements he does on the show, and wearing the bowtie, whatever you do with the Doctor, you can NEVER GET HIM TO TAKE HIS BOWTIE OFF!

It's weird seeing the Doctor as an animated character. Especially Peter Griffin, Christ. He wouldn't stop singing!

_Oh the Master, the Master, the Master's the word,  
OH THE MASTER, THE MASTER, THE MASTER'S THE WORD,  
OH DON'T CHA KNOW ABOUT THE MASTER?  
WELL AMY, EVERY ONES HEARD THAT THE MASTERS THE MASTER!  
OH THE MASTER, THE MASTER THE-_

I hit him over the head with the Ice Cream Scoop.

Yay, this is great, sitting in luxury bedroom, reading a heat magazine from the 22nd century. Life can't get better then this.

"Amy, what happened?" The Doctor emerged from the doorway, in his normal form rubbing his head continuously. The cute Doctor, ha, he looks hangover from the sugar, or from the bruise on his head, I'm not sure.

I strolled over to him and glared at him.

"Doctor, you know next time you have an urge to eat sugar?"

"Yea?"

"Don't"

**FINISHED ROFLMAO. My brother picked out the characters, except the Phantom, I did that. And my mum did Blanche.  
Please Review =)  
Cyazz, Emily =D xxx **


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